SnackWatch Breaking News

Its been a long time since the last SnackWatch Update, but today’s events deserve a post.

A new flavor of “Dirty Chips” appeared in the vending machine at work today. “FUNKY FUSION” caught my eye as I was making my way to the water cooler. I was immediately intrigued. Being an avid Dirty Chip consumer I was surprised to see a new face in the standard line up of Sour Cream and Onion, Vinegar and Sea Salt.

I rushed back to my desk when I saw that only two bags were left, I HAD to try this flavor. Its been so long since a new vending machine snack had caught my eye…I’m not going to lie, I WAS EXCITED(yes I know its just chips).

I scrounged together some change with the help of a coworker(I’m not too proud to beg…when it comes to snacks) and did that awkward “I’m walking but I want to run” type of walk back to the snack machine. An almost-pulled hamstring and a few quarters later, I made my way back to my desk with a smile on my face and Funky Fusion in my hand. I was ready to experience the Funkiness and the Fusion..iness of these new chips!

Now lets just take a minute to understand whats about to go down here.

FUNKY
Slang
Characterized by originality and modishness; unconventional

FUSION
Noun
The merging of different elements into a union

So by definition these chips will be a combination of flavors, the likes of which has never been tasted before…..

WRONG

Disappointment city…population ME. I was expecting James Brown in a bag and I got James Blunt. These chips tasted like Vinegar chips boring cousin…that can’t play outside because of his allergies. Turmeric and Paprika are listed as key ingredients, but I didn’t taste them…not even on those glory chips at the bottom of the bag (Real chip eaters know what I’m talking about). So all my excitement vanished within a few bites.

My heart is heavy with the dashed dreams of a short trip to flavor town..but the lesson can’t be lost here. I still have a deep passion for snacks, and even though Funky Fusion disappointed me, I know that deep down, the flame of snack love still burns inside me…or maybe I just need some Tums.

Check out some old SnackWatch entries Here